Inspired by Cheney, Hitler, from Hell, Defends 1938 Invasion
“Like my pal Dick Cheney, I believe what I did was the right thing,” says flaming fuhrer. DEPTHS OF HELL – Interviewed last night via GoogleSeance™ satellite, former … Read more
fake news
Animal Farm 2.0 Attacked as Controversial Children’s Book
It’s not the only recent children’s book to spark criticism from the right. According to Ben Carson, the American author, presidential candidate and close friend of God, “On … Read more
Adam Sandler So Bad Anymore, Even Westboro Baptist Church is Demanding He Stop
Crimes against comedy: The demise of Adam Sandler Pixels, the big screen equivalent of horse shit, came on the heels of The Cobbler, the biggest stinker of Adam … Read more
Fox News and Donald Trump Reach ‘Non-Nuclear’ Deal
But Fox News’ Megyn Kelly supporters cry foul NEW YORK – Donald Trump announced today that he had “forced Fox News to its cowardly knees,” after signing a … Read more
The Donald, Warts and All
Only in America: The Donald “Like any hardworking American male, when I come home and my $800 dinner’s not presented to me, I go absolutely insane, okay?” — … Read more
Candidates Displayed in Pens at Iowa State Fair, Like Rest of Animals
Iowa decides to highlight ‘true nature of American politics’ by penning presidential candidates. This year’s crop of Presidential weeds… er… candidates made their appearance this week at the … Read more
Jared Fogle Story to be Told in Epic Film by Clint Eastwood
Subway’s longtime spokesman, Jared Fogle, will be featured in major biopic. Once called “America’s 6-inch sweetheart,” Jared Fogle, Subway’s longtime spokesman, now finds himself in a world of … Read more
A Day in the Life of ‘The Donald’
The Donald, likely an insult comic in another life, sits like a King. Paul Lewis, a British journalist at The Guardian best known for his award-winning investigation into … Read more
Bernie Sanders Tells N.Y. Times Reporter to ‘F*CK OFF!’
New Body-Language Translator™ reveals Bernie Sanders and others’ innermost thoughts NEW YORK – Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) indulged in a fiesta of vulgarity yesterday when responding to … Read more
Presidential Candidates Share Their Fitness Routines
The 2016 presidential candidates filled us in on their (very strange) fitness programs. Most people think candidates only run their mouths, but according to reports, Hillary runs 20k … Read more
