Devil Announces ‘New Faustian Bargain’ with Republican Party
‘The GOP will win in 2016 but lose its political soul for all Eternity,’ the Evil One predicted, shortly after striking a new Faustian bargain with Republican leadership. … Read more
Republicans
We, Who Are About to be Beaten with the Ugly Stick, Salute You
How ugly will the presidential race get? Think randomly-shaved rat-terrier with a fourth premolar infection, mange and a lazy eye… ugly. Oh dear. Not pretty. Yes. Already. The … Read more
Lucifer in the House
John Boehner may have called Ted Cruz “Lucifer,” but the GOP is not exactly exhibiting a ton of enthusiasm for Donald Trump, either. One of the oddest moments … Read more
Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/2/16
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more
Lucifer, in the Flesh, Welcomes Comparison to Cruz
Satanic Council defiantly embraces Ted Cruz: ‘The miserable son of a bitch is a natural for us!’ says Lucifer. HADES – The Satanic Council today “totally rejected” claims … Read more
Turns Out Trump is Right a Lot
Donald Trump occasionally stumbles into the lobby of the Correctomundo Hotel As evidenced by his hair, Donald J. Trump is pretty much wrong all the time. Every time. … Read more
Orangutan Father of Donald Trump in ‘Total Despair’ after NY Primary
“I can’t believe you idiots actually voted for that hairless baboon,” hand-signaled Kiki, the orangutan identified as the biological father of Donald Trump. BRONX, NY — Kiki, the … Read more
Will Durst’s 21st Annual Political Animal Awards
These political animal types just don’t get the recognition they deserve. Until now. A major silver lining in this cruelest month of April is a lull between show … Read more
Billionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion
The big-bucks GOP donor and casino mogul cited Sunday’s Boston Globe anti-Trump front page as the main motivator to purchase The Onion. LAS VEGAS – Casino billionaire Sheldon … Read more
GOP to Bring in The Fixer: ‘Turd Blossom’ Karl Rove
Karl Rove could be the party’s last resort to stop Donald Trump It is common knowledge that Donald Trump continues his popularity among the conservative populace who aren’t … Read more
