ISIS to Use Remote-Control Bombs: Suicide Bombers Fuming
Call ISIS decision-makers ‘weak’ and ‘pussies’ A group of suicide bombers have made it known that they are not the least bit happy about a decision made by … Read more
Faux News
Original satirical news stories by Humor Times authors, ala The Onion. Political humor and satire making fun of politicians, the news media and events of the day.
Jesus Shaves! Paul Ryan’s ‘Muslim Beard’ Sparks Shaving Craze Among Patriotic Americans
‘Facial hair is the work of Allah himself,’ proclaims new ‘Jesus Shaves!’ Republican movement, who criticize Paul Ryan. MOBIL, AL — Throughout Appalachia and the American south today … Read more
Hillary’s 2016 Resolution: Destroy Bernie and ‘Seem Nice While Doing It’
“Sanders will not do to me what Obama did in 2008,” declared Hillary Clinton. WASHINGTON — Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced … Read more
Trump: When I Said ‘Disgusting’ I Meant it in a Good Way
‘Listen, I’m disgusting myself, OK?,’ Trump said, ‘You should just see me in the morning!’ NEW YORK – Presidential candidate Donald Trump yesterday defended his use of the … Read more
Is Hitler Still Alive? Mysterious Order from Amazon Jungle Fuels Speculation
‘Lab Penis’ facility says request is not unique but its ‘aryan’ prescription ‘is unsual’ WINSTON-SALEM, NC — The Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine, which specializes in fake … Read more
Report: ‘Militia’ Not Referring to Those Formed in Backyard
2nd Amendment report regarding the intended meaning of “well-regulated militia” will not please gun rights advocates. WASHINGTON — Earlier today, The Nil Admirari (TNA) released a report following … Read more
Martin Shkreli Promises to Bomb Agrabah, Wins 30% GOP Support
Reince Priebus and RNC rush to support ‘exciting new presidential candidate’ and recently jailed Martin Shkreli WASHINGTON DC – Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus announced Friday that … Read more
McDonald’s Introduces Healthy Fries: Diners Hostile
Regulars complain that they don’t eat at McDonald’s for their health The biggest fast food restaurant in the business announced last month that they were introducing an alternative … Read more
Scott Weiland’s Distinct Vocal Style Caused His Death, Autopsy Reveals
Coroner’s report: Scott Weiland choked on marbles in his mouth In this Humor Times exclusive report, we reveal the true cause of death of former Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet … Read more
Corporate Media: Bernie Sanders “Too Serious” for American People
Bernie Sanders should ” tone down” his objectivity, say networks WASHINGTON — Today, the largest corporate media outlets in the United States confessed they were purposely ignoring U.S. … Read more
