Donald Trump Has Stage 4 Affluenza, Shocking Medical Report Reveals
Trump confesses he has Affluenza: ‘This is why I concealed my medical records!’ NYC — A shock report in the New York Post had the Trump campaign reeling … Read more
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Revealed: New Mottoes for the Trump Campaign in the Works
The Trump campaign, out of sheer desperation, will soon be unveiling some creative new slogans. In an exclusive scoop, we reveal them here for you! New Mottoes for … Read more
Condom Sales Skyrocket Ahead of Third Presidential Debate
Can the mysterious, stiff spike in condom sales be explained by the lewd debate spectacles? By now, everyone who isn’t holed up under a rock, or hiding out … Read more
Muhammad Ali Posthumously Awarded 2016 Nobel Prize for Literature
Nobel Prize accolade for ‘The greatest slam poet of his generation, who sure knew how to deliver a punch line!’ STOCKHOLM – Following its shock 2016 Literature Nobel … Read more
News of the Future: Immediately after Election, President Trump Ships All Blue States Inhabitants to Gulag
News of the Future: Jan. 20th, 2017 – Blue states population rounded up Our beloved new President for Life Donald Trump has declared as the first decree of … Read more
Trump Diverts Media from PussyGate: ‘Flint Water Crisis is a Hoax’
‘C’mon, those Flint people are just pussies – no pun intended. I like a city that doesn’t get sick from poison.’ In what was seen as an effort … Read more
Trumpettes Come to Trump’s Defense
Trump ladies club is recruiting new members, giving tips for joining “Our Donald is just misunderstood. Remember how high Dr. Oz said his testosterone level was — he’s … Read more
Shocking Poll Results: ‘What’s in the Presidential Candidates’ Closets?’
New poll reveals a lot about what American voters think of their presidential candidates. By Tim Torkildson The PEW Research center has just released results from their poll … Read more
Breaking: Trump Debate Prep Backfires
A debate simulation session goes horribly wrong at Trump campaign headquarters. Our investigative reporter has uncovered a tactic for the upcoming debate that has literally backfired. An unidentified … Read more
Trump Calls on Supporters to Seize Power Now, ‘Before Hillary Comes for Your Guns!’
“And Lester Holt is a dirty, stinking rigger!” Trump said, following the debate fiasco. GREENSBORO, NC – In the wake of Monday’s disastrous presidential debate, Donald Trump called … Read more
