‘Super Bacteria’ to Enter Rio Olympics: Could ‘Eliminate the Competition’
Analysts say that the population of super bacteria is so strong in the area, they could be the “last organisms standing,” taking the Gold in all watersport events. … Read more
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Melania Trump Filing for Divorce from The Donald
‘I never realized what a complete a**hole he is until the presidential campaign,’ Melania Trump said. ‘Plus, yes, he has extremely small hands and totally fake hair.’ NYC … Read more
Desperate GOP Makes Offer to Dems: ‘Cancel Election, Keep Obama’
‘We’d rather deal with the devil we know for another four years than risk a Trump or Clinton presidential calamity with this election.’ – Sen. Mitch McConnell. In … Read more
Trump University Students Have Reunion at Bankruptcy Court
Trump University graduates recall ‘awesome times’ panhandling for meals. ALBANY, NEW YORK — Earlier today, two former Trump University students had an unscheduled reunion while waiting for their … Read more
Trump Declares Mental Bankruptcy to Avoid Debate with Sanders
“I used the bankruptcy law and did a tremendous thing — all the top people agree,” says Trump. Bernie Sanders’ recently challenged Donald Trump to a televised debate, and … Read more
The Fly that Landed on Trump’s Head: Exclusive Interview!
‘I have no idea what that stuff is made of, but it sure as hell ain’t no human follicles,’ said the dying fly from Donald Trump’s hair. NYC … Read more
Airline Pilot, Responsible for Thousands of Lives, to Vote Trump in November
“He’s the only man who can lead this country forward,” says airline pilot with a straight face. BALTIMORE — According to multiple reports out today, Cpt. Fred Staples, … Read more
Trump on Fox: Tax Returns ‘Creatively Fraudulent,’ Shouldn’t Have to Publish
‘This is exactly the kind of hypocritical dishonesty we want from an American president!’ said Sean Hannity during an interview with Trump on his tax returns. NYC – … Read more
For 18th Time Today, Hillary Clinton Asks Aide if Bernie Has Conceded Yet
“It’s my turn. Everyone knows it’s my turn, except him.” – Clinton WASHINGTON — A campaign aide confirmed reports Hillary Clinton had asked her for the eighteenth time … Read more
Paul Ryan Denies Trump-Hitler Connection
Ryan notes that “The Donalini” has promised to be on his best behavior from now until the election. The Dredge Report has learned that some knowledgeable Republicans in … Read more
