President Lindsey Graham Plans ‘Nipple Pink’ White House Do-Over
“A complete makeover for the White House interior is needed as well” – Lindsey Graham WASHINGTON, DC – GOP Presidential candidate Sen. Lindsey Graham (R–SC) said at a … Read more
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An Interview with Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know he’s dead…)
Osama bin Laden speaks from Purgatory Yes, we know that Osama bin Laden is already dead, but we aren’t going to let that get in the way of … Read more
Jesus Christ Endorses Bernie Sanders for President
‘Mammon worship is now the true faith in the Land flowing with Koch and Money,’ sayeth the Lord, throwing his support to Bernie Sanders. HEAVENSGATE – Jesus Christ … Read more
Former Senator Proclaims ‘Horny Pot’ the Enemy of World Peace
‘It’s possible that smoking pot was the true Original Sin’ – Sen. Rick Sanitarium WASHINGTON, DC – An NIH report released today confirms what dedicated pot smokers have … Read more
Kim Jong-un: ‘My Brother Was Photographed WHERE?’
Kim Jong-chul, older brother of Kim Jong-un, is North Korea’s No. 1 ‘Swiftie’ Kim Jong-chul (his friends call him “Jong-chill”), the enigmatic older brother of the North Korean … Read more
Police Excuses for Assaulting a 15 y/o Bikini Clad Barefoot Girl
Throwing a fifteen year old girl to the ground who poses no threat is ‘just the way we roll,’ say police. Here are the top excuses offered by … Read more
Senator Graham Drops Balls for Women’s Vote
Seeking to attract a mostly-overlooked constituency by the GOP, women, Sen. Graham goes for the gold. South Carolina senator, Republican presidential hopeful and future gay rights activist Lindsey … Read more
Study Proves Rush Limbaugh Really Does Talk Shit
“He’s been crapping all over America for years,” says Miami professor of Limbaugh MIAMI, FL — A University of Miami study concludes that Rush Limbaugh does in fact … Read more
Lindsey Graham’s Tent Big Enough for Jenner, But He’d ‘Have to Sleep Outside’
“I haven’t walked in her shoes. Contrary to reports, I have never worn Manolo high heels.” – Sen. Lindsey Graham Bastard out of Carolina, the 1996 film made … Read more
Pope’s Speech to Congress Cancelled After GOP Adds Him to No-Fly List
Republicans realize the Roman Pope can no longer be relied upon as a GOP spokesman. Pope Francis will not be addressing Congress in late September as originally scheduled. … Read more
