In Desperate Final Bid, Kochs to Buy Uganda, Install Trump as President
‘This way, Donald Trump will have his own country to play with, and we get to pick the GOP nominee after all, just as Citizens United intended.’ – … Read more
GOP
Drumpf v Curiel: Who’s the ‘Foreigner’?
For The Donald, it’s “Mexicans” vs “Germans”: The Drumpf family immigrated to the U.S. from Germany and changed their name to Trump. Who’s the foreigner now? This year’s … Read more
GOP Gorilla Love
From abhorrent cringing to thoroughly immersed in their new gorilla candidate in about a week. Hearty congratulations to the conservatives for a seamless transition from party-wide disgust to … Read more
Lucifer, in the Flesh, Welcomes Comparison to Cruz
Satanic Council defiantly embraces Ted Cruz: ‘The miserable son of a bitch is a natural for us!’ says Lucifer. HADES – The Satanic Council today “totally rejected” claims … Read more
Turns Out Trump is Right a Lot
Donald Trump occasionally stumbles into the lobby of the Correctomundo Hotel As evidenced by his hair, Donald J. Trump is pretty much wrong all the time. Every time. … Read more
Orangutan Father of Donald Trump in ‘Total Despair’ after NY Primary
“I can’t believe you idiots actually voted for that hairless baboon,” hand-signaled Kiki, the orangutan identified as the biological father of Donald Trump. BRONX, NY — Kiki, the … Read more
Billionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion
The big-bucks GOP donor and casino mogul cited Sunday’s Boston Globe anti-Trump front page as the main motivator to purchase The Onion. LAS VEGAS – Casino billionaire Sheldon … Read more
GOP to Bring in The Fixer: ‘Turd Blossom’ Karl Rove
Karl Rove could be the party’s last resort to stop Donald Trump It is common knowledge that Donald Trump continues his popularity among the conservative populace who aren’t … Read more
BREAKING: Koch Brothers Running for President
The Koch brothers have decided that they will have to be the Republican presidential candidates themselves. An anonymous source has informed this reporter that the Koch brothers are … Read more
Someone Should Remind Trump Women Can Vote Too Now
Donald Trump isn’t damaging the GOP as much as he’s lifting the rocks they’ve been hiding under. Go ahead, exhale a deep sigh of relief because our long … Read more
