Trump to Rename America
‘Rebranding will help make America great again, again’ says minority president-elect Soon-to-be-President-for-life Donald J. Trump announced today that his first official act as President would be to rename … Read more
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Future News: Royal Rumble Tarnishes President Trump’s Inauguration
Inauguration turns into wild melee as them damn ‘librals’ tarnish ‘Merca’ Following one of the most contentious political seasons in recent history, tens of thousands of Democrats gathered … Read more
Trump: ‘Jury Still Out’ on Laws of Motion; Media Not Sure
‘It’s little green gremlins that make things move,’ he said. ‘Believe me.’ But members of the media were quick to push back, saying not all gremlins are green. … Read more
Trump Resigns Over Mandatory Reading Assignments from DOD
Donald Trump decided being president would be just too hard President-elect Donald Trump resigned as President Monday, shortly after arriving in Manhattan for a briefing with the Department … Read more
New Year Baby 2017 Refuses to Be Born
‘I still have the Right to Choose,’ New Year Baby 2017 screamed. ‘At least for now!’ NYC – New Year Baby 2017 invoked Roe vs. Wade today, refusing … Read more
Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet
‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet. “We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement … Read more
Kellyanne Conway: FDR’s ‘Four Freedoms’ Just Evil Socialism
‘After all,’ said Kellyanne Conway, ‘freedom is just another word for doing what The Donald wants.’ NYC – Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s new White House adviser, announced at a … Read more
Trump to Sell ‘Indulgences’ in Advance for Federal Crimes
Trump’s plans to monetize his presidency include “Pardons in Advance,” “limited” access to daily CIA briefings, and “ten minutes alone” with Melania’s old shoe collection. NYC – The … Read more
Trump Unveils Extreme Vetting (EZ Form) for Muslim Visitors
‘Extreme Vetting’ can also be ‘extremely efficient,’ says Trump In an unusual move, President-elect Trump announced today that he had taken the bull by the horns in order … Read more
Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here! Hot Off The Fake Press!
Suddenly fake news stories are the ‘In Thing’ and do we have ’em here for you! Get in on the latest fad and power trip going — fake … Read more
