Kim Jong Un Accepts Endorsement Deal with 7-Up
New endorsement deal to feature Kim Jong Un as spokesman for the popular soda. To add to all of the swirling rumors and growing confusion concerning Kim Jong … Read more
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Anti-Quarantine Protestors Express Frustration Over Shutdowns
Encouraged by Trump, anti-quarantine protestors demand action. Right-wing advocates Ander Anderson and Roger Dolt were two of the protestors present at an anti-quarantine demonstration held today in Hicksburg, … Read more
This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Happy Earth Day to You!
Celebrate Earth Day now for your presence in the future. The global warming debate: Speculating on weather or not. It’s not nice to fuel Mother Nature! Soon we … Read more
Trump, Suffering ‘Rally-Withdrawal’ Symptoms, Addresses Pro-Trump Turkeys
President attends rally of pro-Trump turkeys to offset “rally-withdrawal” side-effects. Fighting the effects of “rally-withdrawal” symptoms due to social distancing guidelines, President Donald Trump today addressed an enthusiastic … Read more
This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: The Real Fake
Accuse the media all you want, we know who the real fake is! Trump, the unrealtor, sells lots of dirt. Not surprisingly, a terrible person makes for a … Read more
This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Global Warming Doesn’t Exit
So quit claiming global warming doesn’t exi$t! Hot flashes are making Mother Earth go environmental. Is global warming real? The answer is blowing in the tornadoes. Foolish fuels … Read more
Trump Appoints New DIMM Head to Combat Coronavirus
New DIMM head tasked with combating COVID-19 Donald Trump today announced the appointment of ardent supporter and long-time contributor Graham Crocker to head the US Department of Innovative … Read more
This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: The Elephant in the Room
As usual, the elephant in the room makes doo. Republicans and Trump: Of Mice and Menace. Conservatives serve cons. Trump: America’s #1 bulltwitter. You can have your say, … Read more
This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Disapproval Leads to Removal
[Our number] one disaster leads to another. If Trump wasn’t so stupid, he’d realize how stupid he is. Every horse’s ass believes he’s a stable genius because of … Read more
Leprechauns Cancel St. Patrick’s Day Mischief & Shenanigans
Annual St. Patrick’s Day Shenanigan Festival canceled by unusually cautious Leprechauns amid coronavirus fears. Colin McCreedy, president of the International Brotherhood of Leprechauns and Wee People, has announced … Read more
