Assorted Nuts
“Assorted nuts” and Ted Cruz have become synonymous, as he always tops every list of goofy, right-wing political partisans. Let me say one word to you: Nuts. Now, … Read more
Texas
Furious Gun Owners Demand the Right to Marry Their Guns
Claiming discrimination, gun owners demand the right to marry their guns, “or else.” In a twist that gives new meaning to the term “shotgun wedding,” Second Amendment activists … Read more
Texas Governor: Arm Schoolchildren from Kindergarten on Up
“The only way to deal with a mad teenager brandishing an AR-15,” says Gov. Greg Abbott, “is another mad teenager brandishing an AR-15.” HOUSTON, TX — Texas Governor … Read more
Pantry Power
When people think of union activism, they think pickets and rallies, not groceries. But a locked-out worker need to fill her pantry. In June, Beto O’Rourke and I … Read more
The Beaumont Story
Call it “The Beaumont Story,” for just like 1954’s moneyed interests, today’s Exxon executives have ambushed Golden Triangle unions. In the 1954 race for Texas governor, the corporate … Read more
State of Texas Banning Sex
Governor Greg Abbott today issued another executive order, this one effectively banning sex in the state of Texas. Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Spurred by the oncoming … Read more
Trials & Tribulations of 2 Cheesy Lab Mice Trying to Save the World, Part 4
In cages 6 feet apart, two Cheesy Lab Mice in a Coronavirus trial study valiantly roll the heaven-or-hell dice for us everyday! Part 4 Meet Vinny Verman & … Read more
Texas Legislators to Legalize Vigilantism
Texas to enlist vigilantism enthusiasts to help police the state. In an exclusive interview with one member of the Texas legislature, this reporter discovered the long-term aim of … Read more
Ripping the Headlines Today, 7/27/21
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news, including that about Blue Origin, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any … Read more
Odd Virus Attacking Republican Governors
WARNING: A mutant odd virus named Gubernatorious Imbecilious is spreading across the country, attacking governors and threatening to become pandemic. Originating earlier this year in the Texas governor’s … Read more
