Macron Offers ‘Vulcan Death Grip’ Seminars for World Leaders
“L’idiot needs to be stirred, not shaken. I will show le monde how to do it.” – Emmanuel Macron PARIS – Emmanuel Macron, the recently elected president of … Read more
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Eric Trump Claims Daddy Robbed His Piggy Bank
Eric Trump opens up about life in the Donald Trump household In a candid sit down with a New York radio host last week, Eric Trump opened up … Read more
Angela Merkel Gives Up on World After One Day with Trump
There is no hope for the world, German leader Angela Merkel has decided, after spending time with the U.S. president. BERLIN, Germany — After spending an entire day … Read more
Devil Recruits Trump for President of Satanic Council
“He’s our best chance in millennia to make the world a living hell. And a lot hotter too!” – Mephistopheles, in interview at Devil’s Kingdom studios. HADES – … Read more
White House Adds ‘Dignity and Morality Waivers’ to Ethics Waivers
Move will ‘supplement recent ethics waivers,’ providing relief for an ‘administration beleaguered by fake moral concerns,’ said Spicer. In a move George Orwell called “Me-ian” from the grave … Read more
A Fly on the Wall at an Early Trump Cabinet Meeting
What were the first Trump cabinet meetings like? Wonder no more… “OK, are we all here?” demanded the President Select, as he rushed in fashionably late to his … Read more
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Scared Sh*tless After Playing ‘Bloody Mary’ Game
After repeating ‘Bloody Mary’ three times in front of mirror, Sarah Huckabee Sanders swears she saw something. Curled up in comfy jammies with a flashlight under her chin … Read more
Exclusive: Trump Avoids Blessings During Vatican Visit
Trump demanded unusual security while at the Vatican to avoid contact with holy water and crucifixes. In an ironic twist, it appears Donald Trump, the champion of the … Read more
Trump in Israel: Disappointed at Failing to Find New Accountant
‘Feeling righteous’ – Trump in Israel TEL AVIV — After saying he only trusts “short guys in yarmulkes” to count his money, Donald Trump in Israel was dismayed … Read more
Trump Invited to Russian Sleepovers After Revealing US Secrets
Trump’s best buds in Russia invite him over to share more fun and secrets MOSCOW — While many across the US have expressed indignation over Trump’s loose lips … Read more
