Radiohead Demands Ted Cruz Start Using ‘Creep’
Demand seen as part of a trend of bands suggesting songs for politicians like Ted Cruz to use, rather than just demanding they stop using certain tunes. Radiohead … Read more
fake news
Corporate Media Begins Adding Fangs to Images of Bernie Sanders
Media seeking to be ‘fair and balanced’ by adding vampire fangs to all images of Bernie Sanders. WASHINGTON — Today, a confidential memo between American corporate media outlets … Read more
Controversial New Dating Site Eliminates the Need for Filters
The newest dating site claims to get down to what people are really looking for. The massive popularity of the niche dating site phenomenon proves that people today … Read more
Hillary Promises to Give Bernie Sanders His Positions Back After Primary
Hillary Clinton promises to give Bernie Sanders all of his policy positions back once she has won the Democratic presidential nomination. WASHINGTON — Today, Democratic presidential front-runner and … Read more
Breaking: El Chapo and Trump Both Missing
Bizarre simultaneous disappearance of Trump and El Chapo explained in this exclusive report. On the same day, the notorious El Chapo and the equally notorious Donald Trump have … Read more
Donald Trump: ‘Thin Skin’ Disorder May Lead to Undoing
Doctors have warned Trump not to seek office, as he has such a thin skin when it comes to criticism. In 2012, we reported that Donald Trump had … Read more
Trump: Hitler Has Gotten a Bum Rap from History
“My man Adolf Hitler often punched his opponents in the face, and he made Germany great again! What’s not to like?” NYC — A flushed and defiant Donald … Read more
Nostradamus on ‘Dystopia Trump’: Bleak Future Predicted
New screed by Nostradamus discovered: warns of a dystopia governed by “The Orange One.” Nostradamus, the French apothecary, break-dancer and unicyclist, published erotic novels and collections of prophecies … Read more
How Donald Trump, Short-Fingered Vulgarian and Statesman, Spends His Sundays
In an exclusive interview with the Humor Times, Trump divulged his regular Sunday routine. For your edification, we list it here. I’M A LUMBERJACK First thing off when … Read more
Scalia’s Ghost Apologizes after Meeting with Founding Fathers
Spooky former Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia admitted from Purgatory that his ‘Originalist’ theories were just ‘arglebargle, applesauce and jiggery-pokery.’ PURGATORY – Demands by the Heritage Foundation that … Read more
