Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/15

Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/15
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor
!!!!!Buy 'The Alaska Papers' from lulu.com. Only $10 !!!!! An almost funny publication!
Roger Freed

The 2016 Presidential Election is rolling out candidates with snail-like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential … Read more

A Profile of the Burning Bush

A Profile of the Burning Bush
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.
John Glynn

Jeb Bush has 99 problems … and the tea party is just one. Phil McCrevice, an influential, condescending voice of the American political movement, told CNN that the … Read more

2016 Presidential Candidates Address Inequality (Sort Of)

National radio commentator, writer, public speaker, and author of the book, "Swim Against The Current: Even A Dead Fish Can Go With The Flow," Jim Hightower has spent three decades battling the Powers That Be on behalf of the Powers That Ought To Be - consumers, working families, environmentalists, small businesses, and just-plain-folks.

Twice elected Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Hightower is a modern-day Johnny Appleseed, spreading the message of progressive populism all across the American grassroots.

He broadcasts daily radio commentaries that are carried in more than 150 commercial and public stations and on the web.
Jim Hightower

Specifically, addressing ways to increase inequality! At last, America’s political leaders indicate that they now hear the voices and feel the pain of the poor and of the … Read more

Crazy Ted Cruz

The New York Times says Emmy-nominated comedian and writer Will Durst “is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today.” The Humor Times says "Durst is the Sage of Satire, the Learned Lampooner, the King of Political Satire!" Check his website for upcoming stand-up performance dates. Will's books, including Elect to Laugh! A Hilarious, Common Sense Guide to American Politics are available at Amazon and better bookstores all over this great land of ours. From Ulysses Press.
Will Durst
Latest posts by Will Durst (see all)

Ted Cruz: First sighting of a red nose popping out of the presidential wannabe clown car. Winter is over! Winter is over! Excuse the jubilation, but we ink-stained … Read more

Would-Be Pontiff Ted Cruz Turns Blood to Ice

Would-Be Pontiff Ted Cruz Turns Blood to Ice
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.
Michael Egan

Ted Cruz candidacy ‘a Miracle,’ say Tea Party activists Washington, DC — Following reports earlier today that Pope Francis had performed a “miracle” by turning an amulet of … Read more

Clinton: From Blowgate to Spamgate

Clinton: From Blowgate to Spamgate
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.
John Glynn

Hillary Clinton can’t escape comparisons to Bill We all remember the oral — apologies — moral outcry when Bill failed to keep “Colonel Clinton” in his cage, and now, unless … Read more

Democrats: Message, Message, Who’s Got the Message?

The New York Times says Emmy-nominated comedian and writer Will Durst “is quite possibly the best political satirist working in the country today.” The Humor Times says "Durst is the Sage of Satire, the Learned Lampooner, the King of Political Satire!" Check his website for upcoming stand-up performance dates. Will's books, including Elect to Laugh! A Hilarious, Common Sense Guide to American Politics are available at Amazon and better bookstores all over this great land of ours. From Ulysses Press.
Will Durst
Latest posts by Will Durst (see all)

It’s hard to beat: Democrats and their message Don’t look now, but the Democratic Party is undergoing an identity crisis of such monumental proportions, the Dissociative Identity Disorder … Read more

Romney Exit Clears Path for Other GOP Candidates to Lose

Romney Exit Clears Path for Other GOP Candidates to Lose
J Crock is a veteran newsman with over 50 years experience who doesn't understand why his serious attempts at reporting the news keep winding up on the comedy section of this publication. He spends his days imploring the editors to cease making a mockery of his craft, his nights filled with rage and one day very soon, he will have his revenge. Oh, yes… he'll have his revenge.
J Crock

Door now open for a large number of exciting dark horse GOP candidates to blow it. DES MOINES, Iowa — After announcing he will no longer seek the … Read more

Sarah Palin Hires Track Coach to Prepare for Presidential Run

Sarah Palin Hires Track Coach to Prepare for Presidential Run
Founder, Editor in Chief of Broken World News.
Before the Other Guys Break the News, We've Already Broken It
Sal Kingfisher

Mavericky former half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin preparing to run ‘a long way.’ WASILLA, Alaska – Maverick former half-term Alaska governor Sarah Palin, a one-time Republican vice-presidential nominee, … Read more

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