Secret Service

Flying Saucer Lands on White House Lawn

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Flying Saucer Lands on White House Lawn
Bill Tope
Bill Tope
Bill Tope is a retired (caseworker, cook, construction worker, nude model for art classes, and so on) who lives with his mean little cat Baby.
Bill Tope
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A flying saucer landed on the White House lawn on Jan. 6, 2027, which had been declared a national holiday by new/old President Trump. By Llib Epot, Conservative … Read more

A Version of Vacation Time

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A Version of Vacation Time
Howard R. Wolf
Howard R. Wolf
Emeritus Professor of English at SUNY-Buffalo
Howard R. Wolf is Emeritus Professor of English and Senior Fellow at SUNY-Buffalo and the author of three memoirs, a novel (Broadway Serenade), personal essays, and many short stories.A Fulbright Scholar in Turkey and South Africa,he is now putting together a collection ofstories, EXILES BY STARLIGHT, and a play, HOME AT THE END OF THEDAY. Mr. Wolf is a graduate of Horace Mann School, Amherst College(BA), Columbia (MA), and The University of Michigan (PH.D) where he won a Hopwood for fiction. Howard lives in Amherst, New York where he writes and cultivates a small garden.
Howard R. Wolf
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The correctional system as it now exists in America wouldn’t be appropriate for Trump. What to do? Carl Augustas Menninger (1893-1990), the most prominent member of the family … Read more

True Identity of George Santos Uncovered

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True Identity of George Santos Uncovered
Ted Holland
Ted Holland
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland
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Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) The Slobovian Secret Service has uncovered the true identity of George Santos, and it’s one you never would have guessed. Exclusive Report … Read more

Mysterious 39th Page of Redacted DOJ Affidavit Discovered

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Mysterious 39th Page of Redacted DOJ Affidavit Discovered
Ted Holland
Ted Holland
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland
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Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network) Slobovian Secret Service operative Redd Hotte has uncovered a mysterious 39th page of the newly-released redacted DOJ affidavit. News outlets around the … Read more

Breaking: Trump Wins ‘Back Seat Driver’ Award!

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Breaking: Trump Wins ‘Back Seat Driver’ Award!
Marilyn Sands
Marilyn Sands
Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha
Marilyn Sands
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Who knew Donald Trump, infamous back seat driver, always liked to be the Designated Driver?! Not too many people know that before Donald Trump sold Steaks, ran Universities … Read more

Secret Service Plan Ready if Trump Refuses to Leave White House

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Secret Service Plan Ready if Trump Refuses to Leave White House
Diane de Anda
Diane de Anda
Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire.Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
Diane de Anda
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Trump barricade? No problem: Secret Service plan revealed. An anonymous source has sent the Humor Times an exclusive copy of a Secret Service plan drawn up in case … Read more

Trump Reportedly ‘Inspecting Bunker’ after Iranian Murder Warrant Issued

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Trump Reportedly ‘Inspecting Bunker’ after Iranian Murder Warrant Issued
Ted Holland
Ted Holland
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland
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The feared Slobovian Secret Service is set to execute a recently-issued Iranian murder warrant. Part of the continuing series, Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network). Iranian government officials … Read more

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Diss Barr the Attorney General!

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This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Diss Barr the Attorney General!
Ralph Lombard
Ralph Lombard
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!
Ralph Lombard
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The Attorney General has Barr-icaded the White House behind stonewalls. Donald Trump is the consequence of a sequence of cons. The president is an outsider. Of the law! … Read more

White House Down, Unannounced Visitor

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White House Down, Unannounced Visitor
John Glynn
John Glynn
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.
John Glynn
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Unannounced visitor causes stir at White House To get into the White House nowadays, one must be as devious as they are intelligent, right? Wrong. You must be … Read more

Fun with the News: Secret Service & More

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Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country.
Argus Hamilton
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Spirit Airlines jumped on the Secret Service hooker scandal by offering twenty-dollar flights to Cartagena Friday. The scandal’s had a worldwide impact. In order to compete, Las Vegas … Read more

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