Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/19/15

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/19/15
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Comedian Bill Burr Determines it’s Safer to be a Sniper

Comedian Bill Burr Determines it’s Safer to be a Sniper
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Matt Nagin is an author and comedian who has published four books, acted in numerous film and TV projects, and performed standup in seven countries. Some career highlights include the 2019 publication of his humor book Do Not Feed The Clown by Tenth Street Press, the poem “If We Are Doomed” winning the 2018 Spirit First Editor’s Choice Award, and an appearance on the Amazon series Hunters in a scene with Al Pacino. Matt's fiction has been published in Across The Margin, The Binnacle, and Void Magazine, and a story will be anthologized this summer in Rabbit Hole: Weird Stories Volume 5. Other experiences Matt is grateful for include performing his one man show Woolly Mammoth Panic Attack at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival (a show so licentious it almost gave his mother a stroke), and creating the short film, Inside Job, which won several awards at festivals. Finally, Matt spent several years as a Talent and Show Coordinator for The Gotham Comedy Foundation, a charitable organization that brings comedians into hospitals and senior centers. More info at mattnagin.com
Matt Nagin
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“Snipers can defend themselves. They have AK-47’s.” – Bill Burr Bill Burr announced today he intends to become a sniper in the U.S. Marines. “It’s way safer than … Read more

Concerned Fox News Hosts Unsure if Shows Qualify as Satire

Concerned Fox News Hosts Unsure if Shows Qualify as Satire
Founder, Editor in Chief of Broken World News.
Before the Other Guys Break the News, We've Already Broken It
Sal Kingfisher

Bill O’Reilly: “If what we do is satire, you can bet we do it better than anyone else.” NEW YORK CITY – Alarmed Fox News hosts recently engaged … Read more

Google Report: 80% of Porn Searches are by Muslims

Google Report: 80% of Porn Searches are by Muslims
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.
Michael Egan

Iranian sexologist claims entire culture obsessed with sex porn searches and death TEHERAN — Iranian sexologist Sheik Ratel-n-Rol, the “Renegade Imam of Islam,” is on the run again … Read more

Death to Seat Belts! Joni Ernst Demands End to All ‘Fascistic’ Driving Regulations

Death to Seat Belts! Joni Ernst Demands End to All ‘Fascistic’ Driving Regulations
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.
Michael Egan

‘Extend the Second Amendment to autos, trucks, and motorbikes – now!’ – Joni Ernst WASHINGTON DC — Feeling restrained by that seat belt? Resent being told you can’t … Read more

Sam Harris: A Sensationalist Creationist

Sam Harris: A Sensationalist Creationist
John Glynn is an Irishman, a lover of Guinness and a
potato connoisseur. An expert in the area of mediocrity, he one day hopes to own a decent coffee maker and visit SeaWorld Orlando.
John Glynn

Leading religious critic turns creationist, renounces atheism In a shocking interview with Bill O’Reilly on Fox News yesterday, Sam Harris announced he is now a creationist, renouncing atheism — much … Read more

New Hope for Devils Who Have Been Cast Out

New Hope for Devils Who Have Been Cast Out
Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire.Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
Diane de Anda

Support groups for devils and demons provided Because Satan is known for his fire-breathing reaction to the failure of any of his minions sent to drag a soul … Read more

Support Political Cartoons with the Humor Times Online Fundraiser!

Support Political Cartoons with the Humor Times Online Fundraiser!
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The Humor Times founder/publisher/editor/writer may wear a lot of hats, but he likes it that way. Still, his favorite job is writing fake news articles. He is also a musician and songwriter, who plays guitar, mandolin and harmonica, with several CDs to his credit.
James Israel
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Please check out our new online fundraiser to help keep the Humor Times print publication going! We’ve been publishing the much-loved political humor magazine, the Humor Times, since … Read more

Lost Journal: Let’s not Let a Second Decade Go Nameless

Buy your copy of "Lost Journal - the Book" at www.timmollen.com.Each Lost Journal column is a journal entry written in retrospect. In other words, Mollen chooses a different day from his past, and writes about it as though it were today. The date may be last week, Halloween 1980, or the day he was born (May 4, 1969). Some of you may be asking, “But how would he have been able to write a journal entry on the day he was born?” To you he says: “Lighten up. It’s a humor column.” Mollen is a nationally syndicated columnist and actor, and he is available as a speaker on writing and humor.
Tim Mollen
Latest posts by Tim Mollen (see all)

Journal entry: January 1, 2010 (age 40) – Second Decade Who would have thought we would finish the last decade without settling on a name for it? Let’s … Read more

‘Je Suis Frostie’ Movement Burgeons After Muslim Cleric Bans Snowmen

‘Je Suis Frostie’ Movement Burgeons After Muslim Cleric Bans Snowmen
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.
Michael Egan

Three million gather on Boston Common to build snowmen giving Mecca the finger BOSTON — Families throughout New England yesterday defiantly posted “Je Suis Frostie” signs in their … Read more

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