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Dec 292016
 By , December 29, 2016
How the Trump Stole America: A Poem

How the Trump Stole America Politics in America had suffered a blow Americans were fed up with the status quo Obama did what he could with what given The red states were mad, they were hellbent and driven Give us a new leader, give us [more…]

Dec 062016
 By , December 6, 2016
Uncle Sam Says He's Dying

The world’s oldest democracy, and its main avatar, Uncle Sam, may be dead by 2020. NYC — America, the world’s oldest democracy, announced via Uncle Sam today that it was too aged and weak to defend itself any longer. “Can’t do it any more, I’m [more…]

Mar 152016
 By , March 15, 2016
Nostradamus on 'Dystopia Trump': Bleak Future Predicted

New screed by Nostradamus discovered: warns of a dystopia governed by “The Orange One.” Nostradamus, the French apothecary, break-dancer and unicyclist, published erotic novels and collections of prophecies that are known around the world. Multi-talented, not only was Nostradamus a diviner, he was a ventriloquist and [more…]

Jun 182015
 By , June 18, 2015
Putin Park: If Freddy Krueger Designed Disneyland

More fun than you can shake a nuke at: Putin’s military theme park is fun for the whole family. Fancy a lunch of boiled brown bear and beetroot? How about shopping for Vladimir Putin accessories: bobble heads, pin badges and fridge magnets? Instead of queuing [more…]

Jun 132015
 By , June 13, 2015
Rachel Dolezal: A Case of Intentionally Mistaken Identity

Rachel Dolezal: A Case of Intentionally Mistaken Identity “If it’s okay for Caitlyn Jenner to identify as a woman, why can’t Rachel Dolezal call herself black?” tweeted Pharrell Williams, the musician, producer, entrepreneur and above all, wearer of hideous hats. On Thursday, Rachel Dolezal, who [more…]

May 082015
 By , May 8, 2015
America in Danger of Facing Internet Outrage Shortage

Strong opinions and internet outrage are in serious danger of being depleted, say outraged experts. The internet is a great tool in which people can express differing opinions. Sometimes those opinions are strong enough to warrant spirited debate. However, those strong opinions and spirited debates [more…]

Apr 122015
 By , April 12, 2015

America’s problems can seem daunting. Durstco is here to help. Modern life can get awfully complicated. And in our continuing quest to navigate these state-of-the-art raging rapids while keeping body and mind upright, we should be forgiven the occasional tendency to overthink things. (like the [more…]

Feb 022015
 By , February 2, 2015

They’ve strung out the red velvet rope: It’s the country clubbing of America. And now for a few choice words concerning my recent demotion to the status of second-class citizen. The amazing thing is how quickly my metamorphosis into Cockroachlandia occurred. One minute, I’m walking [more…]

May 272014
 By , May 27, 2014

More importantly, can we save America? It might appear that the U-S-of-A has gone bonkers. So let me clear up any confusion that you might have: Yes, it has! Yet, it hasn’t. More on that in a moment. First, though — whether looking at the [more…]

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