Joe Biden

This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: We Can’t Breathe, They Can’t Grieve

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This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: We Can’t Breathe, They Can’t Grieve
Ralph Lombard
Ralph Lombard
I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!
Ralph Lombard
Latest posts by Ralph Lombard (see all)

We can’t tolerate intolerance. The police suspects their victims. Don’t stand for taking this lying down! The Trump curse only makes things worse. Hardliners are always the biggest … Read more

DNC Election Plan: Heard Inside a Bunker Beneath a D.C. Pizza Parlor

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DNC Election Plan: Heard Inside a Bunker Beneath a D.C. Pizza Parlor
Humor Times
Humor Times
The Humor Times is the "World's funniest news source!" Sure, we like to inform our visitors, but in a playful sort of way. We believe political satire is one of the best ways to help folks let down their defenses and see things in a new light, as well as to help bring haughty leaders back down to earth. Plus, it's just plain fun! The Humor Times magazine (delivered to your door 12x/year) is a great way to enjoy this brand of humor, it makes a wonderful gift, and SUBSCRIPTIONS are very affordable!
Humor Times
Latest posts by Humor Times (see all)

Exclusive Report! This once-secret conversation was transcribed from a smuggled recording, and seems to reveal the DNC election plan. By Michael Dane TOM PEREZ: Alright, people — I’ll get … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/18/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/18/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Michigan Protesters Take Aim at McDonald’s, Demand Return of McRib

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Michigan Protesters Take Aim at McDonald’s, Demand Return of McRib
Evan Helmlinger
Evan Helmlinger
A writer by trade and a wisecracker by necessity, Evan relies on a well-timed joke to get him out of awkward situations, traffic tickets, and the occasional hostage crisis.
Evan Helmlinger
Latest posts by Evan Helmlinger (see all)

Buoyed by support from the president, Michigan protesters have demanded the fast food giant to bring back the beloved menu item permanently. After demonstrating against Michigan Governor Gretchen … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/11/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/11/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Battle for a Female Running Mate for Joe Biden to be Settled on Upcoming Episode of AEW Dynamite

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Battle for a Female Running Mate for Joe Biden to be Settled on Upcoming Episode of AEW Dynamite
Ted Holland
Ted Holland
Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.
Ted Holland
Latest posts by Ted Holland (see all)

Exclusive Report: A “Mississippi Double Mud Battle Royale” will determine Joe Biden’s female running mate. “Handsy Joe” Biden is said to have volunteered to “rub the shoulders” of … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/28/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/28/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Biden to Run on Mediocrity

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Biden to Run on Mediocrity
David Suter
David Suter
Dave Suter is an essayist and social commentator specializing in translating the shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave into editorial prose. He lives in Ohio where he watches a vast mountain of essays and unpaid bills not resolve itself into the Great American Novel─or a paycheck.
David Suter
Latest posts by David Suter (see all)

Joe Biden unveils new campaign slogan: “Return to Mediocrity” in bid to excite the Democratic base. In the 1920 presidential election following the end of WWI, Warren G. … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/20

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Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/20/20
Paul Lander
Paul Lander
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Here They Come: Those Russian Trolls!

Here They Come: Those Russian Trolls!
James Israel
Social media
James Israel
The Humor Times founder/publisher/editor/writer may wear a lot of hats, but he likes it that way. Still, his favorite job is writing fake news articles. He is also a musician and songwriter, who plays guitar, mandolin and harmonica, with several CDs to his credit.
James Israel
Social media
Latest posts by James Israel (see all)

Wow, have you noticed? The have really ramped it up quickly! With Bernie out of the way, the horde of Russian trolls can concentrate all their fire-power on … Read more

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