Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/16/17

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/16/17
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Putin to Attend Trump Inaugural, Accompanied by Two Million Troops, the Russian Air Force and 17 Squadrons of Tanks and Armored Carriers

Putin to Attend Trump Inaugural, Accompanied by Two Million Troops, the Russian Air Force and 17 Squadrons of Tanks and Armored Carriers
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.
Michael Egan

Trump and GOP ‘Welcome Putin and Russia’s enthusiastic support, when so many unpatriotic Americans will not stand with our President!’  NYC – The Trump Inauguration Committee “proudly” announced … Read more

Post Post-Truth: A Poem

Post Post-Truth: A Poem
Rick Blum has been writing humorous prose and poetry for more than 25 years during stints as a nightclub owner, high-tech manager, market research mogul and, most recently, alter kaker. Currently, he is holed up in his Massachusetts office trying to pen the perfect bio, which he plans to share as soon as he stops laughing at the sheer futility of this effort.
Rick Blum

Post Post-Truth There once was a time it pains me to say when facts were demeaned and truth was passé Words were adornments designed to excite not to … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/9/17

Ripping the Headlines Today, 1/9/17
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

DNC Offers Suggestions for Making Next Four Years Sail By

DNC Offers Suggestions for Making Next Four Years Sail By
Eileen McVety is a marketing/communications writer and author of the humor book Welcome to the Company (or what it’s really like working here). Her fiction and creative nonfiction have appeared in such publications as Tiny Lights, Chicago Tribune, and Minetta Review. Eileen lives and works in suburban Philadelphia.
Eileen McVety

Democrats try to mollify despondent voters Responding to an onslaught of “despair mail” from disheartened Democrats longing to fast-forward to November 2020, the Democratic National Committee today released … Read more

Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment

Princess Ivanka ‘Furious’ About Pam Bondi’s White House Appointment
Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.
Michael Egan

‘She just loves having her pussy grabbed by the President-Erect!’ Ivanka wept, referring to Donald’s new housemate, Pam Bondi. ‘It’s not fair! Waah!’  NYC – First Lady-Elect Princess … Read more

Trump to Rename America

Trump to Rename America
Ron Keith lives in Washington, DC. He freelances, mostly writing on renewable energy, technology, gaming, and anything else he feels a passion for. He plans to spend the Trump years in a fetal position and learning what an emolument is.
Ron Keith

‘Rebranding will help make America great again, again’ says minority president-elect Soon-to-be-President-for-life Donald J. Trump announced today that his first official act as President would be to rename … Read more

Future News: Royal Rumble Tarnishes President Trump’s Inauguration

Future News: Royal Rumble Tarnishes President Trump’s Inauguration
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Matt Nagin is an author and comedian who has published four books, acted in numerous film and TV projects, and performed standup in seven countries. Some career highlights include the 2019 publication of his humor book Do Not Feed The Clown by Tenth Street Press, the poem “If We Are Doomed” winning the 2018 Spirit First Editor’s Choice Award, and an appearance on the Amazon series Hunters in a scene with Al Pacino. Matt's fiction has been published in Across The Margin, The Binnacle, and Void Magazine, and a story will be anthologized this summer in Rabbit Hole: Weird Stories Volume 5. Other experiences Matt is grateful for include performing his one man show Woolly Mammoth Panic Attack at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival (a show so licentious it almost gave his mother a stroke), and creating the short film, Inside Job, which won several awards at festivals. Finally, Matt spent several years as a Talent and Show Coordinator for The Gotham Comedy Foundation, a charitable organization that brings comedians into hospitals and senior centers. More info at mattnagin.com
Matt Nagin
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Inauguration turns into wild melee as them damn ‘librals’ tarnish ‘Merca’ Following one of the most contentious political seasons in recent history,  tens of thousands of Democrats gathered … Read more

Ripping the Headlines Today, 12/27/16

Ripping the Headlines Today, 12/27/16
Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of -- winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney's, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that's been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul's time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul's "Ripping the Headlines Today" columns here.)
Paul Lander
Latest posts by Paul Lander (see all)

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is … Read more

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet
Social media
The Humor Times founder/publisher/editor/writer may wear a lot of hats, but he likes it that way. Still, his favorite job is writing fake news articles. He is also a musician and songwriter, who plays guitar, mandolin and harmonica, with several CDs to his credit.
James Israel
Social media

‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet. “We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement … Read more

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